PIC-TOUR (Passing Out Parade)

2015 Batch A Corps members never had a Passing Out Parade (POP). Initially, I thought it was a Bayelsa thing as activities concerning our passing out had been kept on low key and delayed inappropriately. It was a great day however and with the aid of pictures, I want to appreciate everyone that made it so. April 14, 2016 to me was an unforgettable day and it wouldn’t have been so without you guys. You all made this story I’m about to tell.

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The activities of the day was scheduled to begin by 9am just like every other NYSC activity, but by 11am, I was still at home struggling to finish my share of Bread and Akara. I was preparing to take my bath when Vivian (a coworker, sweet friend and fellow corp member) rang my number. She informed me that she’d just received her NYSC (discharge) Certificate and affirmed that I wasn’t late yet. But that was only if I hurried the hell up.

I did, and forced Bright and Pedro (My friends and brothers from university) to do likewise. We got into a Keke in no time and because we completed the driver’s carriage, we had a direct ride to the venue. Peace park would’ve been the venue if things were to follow due course, but as it appeared, NYSC wanted to get rid of us, and they wanted it fast. Thus, our POP entailed only certificate collection and the venue was zonal office.

It was an impromptu reunion when we alighted the tricycle. Talking with her eyes bulging and hands gesticulating was Chinyeaka, our classmate from UNEC. We went straight to her and this was the outcome

I owe that lady a lot as she’d been very helpful to me in my service year. She gave me a space with the friendly mosquitoes of Bayelsa when I first arrived the town and had nowhere to lay my head. Thanks, babe.

Vivian, as always, was not difficult to pick out from the crowd of corps members. She was standing with her roommate, Nnenna. They both were resplendently dressed in their corper regalia with fashionable handbags. I got into my picture craze with Vivian and Nnenna had no option but to join in. Her shades that reflected the image in focus turned out handy.

Hey! Where the hell went the bags I just described?

Forget it, Pedro is sleek and sly. He hadn’t worm those Nike boots for nothing. He had found another classmate, Chioma, and while I and Bright were busy musing about how Chioma came about her now protuberant backside, Pedro wrapped his arm around the two girls’ waist and had them giggling. The guy standing by the corner sucking on his ice cream like they boosted his chances of making heaven couldn’t place a finger on how my guy had accomplished that. It had to be the Nike canvas. Even M.I knows that.

Nobody defeats Bright. He quickly went on a revenge mission. He took Nnenna aside and having talked with her for what must have been an hour, he wrapped both hands around her and posed for the camera. “Man, Nnenna has a band on the fourth finger already.” I said in my head. Bright knew this too, he even heard me make the comment in my head, I’m sure, but he’s no quitter. Her hubby can h*t his head on a cement wall if he likes, whose business would it be? Not Nnenna’s, I’m sure.

Friends met friends. Nnenna (though born on the same day of the month as Bright) switched to Pedro, and Bright had to take my Vivian. He happened to be born on the same day as I, so what can’t I do for him? Moreover, the switching was done on (an invisible) consensus.

Oh! There, the bags I’ve been talking about. Ask me for these ladies’ phone digits so you can place an order for your own bag. Thank you.

I’m not going to forget about my dear Ruth. No way I’m going to do that.

I actually took a selfie with her, using her phone and selfie stick, but I couldn’t find her anywhere after then. Things were winding up and growing dull, the day was running. I realised we agreed on chat the day before to have a date with plenty of friends at Bayelsa Palms. I gave Ruth a call, we got our friends arranged, and off we drove to Bayelsa Palms. How we arrived at Yenagoa Gardens, which happened to be the place we had in mind, is another story for a dull day.

So, dear friends, welcome to Yenagoa Gardens…

I can speak for the brothers I brought along with me but not for Ruth and her two friends – Dami and Sylvia. Menh! This place would dry our pockets (not like I’ve amended the holes that appeared in them just last week). We walked like we had entered into a glasshouse, very careful not to break anything or draw attention. But of course, the waiters and customers alike were staring at us like we had walked into the wrong place. We mustered courage to walk past them without asking questions, and that was when the fun began.

The swimming pool, baby!

Ruthie is posing for the camera, she’s got this crazy excitement look on her face and I knew only to add to the craziness. What I don’t understand is why Sylvia looked that way. Did I spoil the pic?

Pedro took that shot and the shot that comes next. The guy should go into photography, plus, I might be needing a great deal of his help to woo Ruth (This is a secret, friends. Please ensure to keep it so). The dude saw me sitting alone on that basket swing (whatever it’s called, I had a hard time placing my ass on it) and urged Ruth to sit in with me. She did but according to Pedro, we were sitting like scared children with our hands on our laps. He suggested that Ruthie placed her hand over my shoulder. She did as told and I tell you, the picture cut it.

I had fun, everybody knew that, but Ruthie stabs hearts. She went ahead to take a pic with Dami. Mehn, how that made me feel (very good, if you care to know. Lol!). The guy held her like he wanted to possess his possession (I’m not jealous or whining about that) but Ruth just put her palm over his head like she was glad to be taller than him. Even if it’s just this once.

There’ve got to be something to take home as souvenir to our parents, shouldn’t there? That’s this picture. Pedro came over to I and Bright and said, “Brothers, let’s do this one for mommy.” Mommy is Bright’s mom, she loves seeing us three together. Yea man, we did it. If I’d finally end up becoming a musician like I see constantly in my dreams, this is going to be my first album cover art. Mark my words.

I and Bright know how to fantasise a lot. I took the dude into a café in this garden beautifully adorned with artistic frames and well furnished. We told ourselves that a place like this was the sweetest and best place to format our chics’ head. She would run short of words, of course, and do as we say. Are you already sharing in my fantasies? Welcome to the club. This is the way we looked afterwards, the effect of the fantasies on our expressions receding but not fast enough.

We’ve all got to leave a place no matter how interesting or perfect it is. That’s human nature, we’re born vagabonds. When we eventually make heaven, we’ll still have to leave to somewhere else. I know this from the little visions and dreams I’ve had as a kid. I’ll confirm from God anyway. And you’ll see that I’m right.

We had to leave Yenagoa Gardens. I didn’t fail to thank Ruth immensely for the treat. Can you imagine that she took care of the bills? We finally decided to have snacks and drinks. We also played a game of table tennis. Ruth trashed me in the last game. It’s not a shameful thing, it’s actually a love-ly thing. Ask her if you disagree with me.

We had to get home to continue the fun. We’d kept aside some money to refreshen our neighbours. The amount kept aside would be enough to purchase a bottle of whatever drink (except wine and spirit) for each of them and you know what that would leave me? A brokeass. But who cares? Not I and my brothers, not my neighbours either.

We drank and shekpe and danced our sorrows. Bright took charge of the dancefloor and no one could steal it from him. We didn’t get drunk but we were on our way there. This was how I looked in the end.

Now, there are plenty things I know not. They are:
1. The pregnant man beside me, trying to hide his girl from the camera. Who the h*ll is he? And how is it that I’m just noticing he had a girl with him.
2. I didn’t take Gulder, that’s beer for the old. Why have I got a bottle of it in my hand, exhibiting it like a priced trophy?

Did I say plenty? Well it’s just these two I can recall, bear with me.

I had a lovely POP, you would agree. I wish you enjoyed the ride with me and hey, if your POP beats mine, share me your pictures let’s see.

PS. I’ll be updating a new episode of I know the Devil next weekend. Try to check it out. Thank you, dear readers.